A few weeks ago I received a late night call. You know the one. Where a completely platonic male friend has had way too much to drink and decides, while driving drunk to some other girl's house in an effort to get some ass, decides to give you a little call at 2:35am. So the phone rings, and incidentally I was up. I see it's my friend Teddy. Now, Teddy is a strictly/completely/nowayinhellanythingisevergoingonbetweenus friend. But he likes to talk a big game about how great he is in the sack, and I like to laugh. So it works out. Now to give you the visual, Teddy is a short guy. And I'm a tall girl. Like, you need to be at least 6' to ride this ride. So he calls me, and I answer, and I'm kind of laughing. He asks if I have anyone over - I secretly love that he thinks I'm getting ass like that - and I tell him I don't. Then it starts! He tells me "You know, I think you are the kind of girl who would appreciate what I'm bringing to the table. I could give you so many orgasms a night. Probably like 10 a night. And the things I would do to you, I would do some kinky stuff to you. Hang on a second.......can I get a number 6, two tacos and a medium root beer"?
Yeah. Teddy interrupted the orgasm talk to get his late night drunk food fix at Jack in the Box. That. Just. Happened.
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