Ok, i just opened up a new internet thing and the headline at the top is "Jessica Simpson planning outfit for the baby to wear home from the hospital". How has she not had that kid yet? Are you kidding me? That kids gonna be enormous. It's gonna walk out of her vag, take the SAT and apply to college....you have GOT to be fucking kidding me with this. Nobody, on the whole earth, is ever going to want to see this chick naked again. Good thing you had that whole Dukes of Hazard moment where you bulemia'd yourself into some short shorts and rolled around on a sudsy car, sweetheart, and Praise Sweet Baby Jesus someone paid you for that and caught it on film, cuz that shit is never, ever going to snap back.
